How NOT to Apply for Jobs

Wednesday, 31 March, 2021 - 09:52
Conor

Have you been applying for jobs but haven’t heard anything back yet? Has it occurred to you that you might be doing it wrong? Let’s take a look at some ways that people apply for jobs that they really shouldn’t use.

The job search and application process for jobs are a tiresome process. To give you a headstart, here are some tips on how NOT to apply for jobs.

 

 

Leaving Facebook comments like this one: “Hy guys please me to get apprentice”.

Then there’s the old blank email with just a CV, no body, nothing. Which job are you applying for? I don’t know.

Then there’s this one with the subject line “Job” and the body that just says “Yes plz”. Job. Yes plz.

On a more serious note than those ones, um, sending one email to about ten different recruitment agencies and companies and cc-ing them all in on it is not going to get you a job. They take a look at that and they say “no”. So don’t do that.

Definitely don’t send an email with the subject line: “I’m looking for a job any kind of job available please touch me”.

Leaving your number in a Facebook comment is not going to get you a job, and this happens a lot more often than you might think.

If you see an opportunity such as an internship or learnership being advertised on Facebook, you definitely shouldn’t leave a comment that says, “can you inbox me so that we talking” or “I want call me on phone number”. Not gonna happen.

Expressing interest in a defence intelligence internship by sending an email that says “yes I need defence and intelligence” is not going to get you that internship. Sorry.

And this is a new one, I haven’t seen this one before. If you’re actively looking for a job but you’re using BitBounce or anything like it, you’re not going to get a job. I’ll read what it says here. “Hello! I use a new email filtering service called BitBounce to better filter my spam. To deliver your mail to my inbox, please click the link below and pay the small crypto currency fee.” No one’s going to pay a crypto currency fee to email you, to view your email, no, that’s not going to happen.

And then, of course, just generally expressing interest by sending an email or posting a Facebook comment that says things like “interest”, “I’m interesting more information please”, “Yes, sent from my Vodacom Smart”, “I need this one, sent from Mobicel BERRY”, “I don’t have qualification but I want to train with you. I have a skill”, “I’m interested please”, “I like to have that learnership”, “Of course yes I want to register learner ship”, “leanership”, “How do one apply for this internship?” Might help to click on the link. There’s always a link.

And then, of course, comments like this one, which are just totally indecipherable: “seeds a taxes could ft scuzzy thou I uh I joy scuzzy thou I uh I joy and and I am so I I am ao I amrs i I am so I am so so I am so I am so I I am inkjet ds rs.” You don’t need a job, you need help.

So that’s how not to apply for a job.

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